Wild times with dog
Early evening, and our husky mix talking dog Peggy Sue is out in the yard, lazing in a dirt wallow she dug on a slight promontory. From there she can keep an eye on the house—in case we come out to do something interesting—and on the driveway, trees and open field that could suddenly contain any number of wild or domestic creatures.
I hear her give a bark—a melodic “rrra rrra” with a “woo woo” at the end. Fox. I step out and see the black fox with white-tipped tail crossing the field. Peggy Sue heads off to a mound at the edge of the property to give the fox what for, then sits and watches. Fox keeps a wary eye as she hunts for field mice. At night, fox comes in close to the house, hunting, and leaves scat on top of a rock where Peggy can’t miss it.
Later in the evening, Peggy puts out a stronger bark, followed by longer, deeper wolfy “wooo wooos”. I step out the door and she vocalizes a grumbly warning saying there are wow, wow, wows out there. Coyote. Sure enough, they are singing on the hill. Peggy heads for the mound again, returning a few barks to say “this is my turf!” —but wary, ready to retreat. The deer hear and move in closer to the houses—no time to be grazing that field where this winter the coyote pack took down an adult deer.
Late at night from inside the house Peggy Sue jumps up and gives a strong sharp alarm bark. “RRA RRA RRA!” Ruff fully up. Deep growl. BEAR! Neither she nor I go out. I turn the yard lights on and we peer through the door’s window, hoping the bear is passing on by. The neighborhood dogs sing out, giving vocal tracking to bear’s route as it heads downtown—lured away from our electrified bee fence by the tempting smell of french fries.
Next morning an insistent “oh ah wa” means it’s time for our walk with many good sniffs and tracks.
Happy dog, happy me.
Happy Mother’s Day
Nearly every night this past week we’ve watched the news about the US Supreme Court hearing the California Proposition 8 and DOMA (Defense of Marriage Amendment) cases. We’ve listened to the reporters with feelings of joy, disbelief, hope and anxiety.
I see the posts on Facebook of people supporting same sex marriage. Thousands of people in solidarity are posting the red equal symbol that represents “equality in love”—and I’m stunned.
It has been a long road. As a teenager I didn’t have any positive examples of gay people. I wasn’t taught in high school that this poet or athlete, first lady or teacher was in love with someone of the same sex. Instead I lived in fear, terror actually, that my own feelings would be found out and that I would be shunned by my friends and family. My own self-hate was like a stone in my heart. My first attempt at “coming out” at 17 was a disaster, and I retreated into “safe” heterosexuality until I was 40.
It is a terrible thing not to be true to yourself. Living a lie stops you from realizing your full potential. It is also terrible to deny other people the ability to fully love, to fully be.
Step by step, the times are changing. The next generation is growing up knowing gay/lesbian/bi and transgendered people. Some day everyone will have the same rights as everyone else and we’ll put the “before times” into the history books alongside with slavery, women not having the vote, segregation and laws against inter-racial marriage.
Even if the Supreme Court strikes down DOMA, it will be a long road to full acceptance and civil rights. But for now, having gay rights come to the front of our national debate and seeing so much public support is a day I thought I’d never see.
Janet and I were fortunate last month to be able to go visit a friend in the Virgin Islands. Such a great gift. Turquoise water, white sand beaches, tropical breezes and wonderful sea-level oxygen. The ocean was vast and warm. The scenery was green—a feast for winter-weary eyes.
I had planned to work while traveling. But while waiting in the airport terminal my watch battery died. Upon arriving, internet connections were difficult to non-existent. The universe was very clearly saying “unplug, and just be here now.” Great.
Being very far away from Crestone is sometimes a very good thing. To “get out from under”, to gain needed perspective. I spent many a day just hanging out at the beach. Spent hours just floating in the great brilliant mother ocean. Slowly, the inner coils of tension started to unwind.
As I posed questions to the universe I kept getting the same clear answer. “Stand in the center of your own being.”
This was essentially the same message that has repeatedly come out of the sacred lodge, that has come from the elders. That it is very important during these times to be in balance, to be in your center. There are strong energies moving all around the world, and here as well. During these times of disruption and change, everything is amped up. Our inner selves are being pushed and challenged. How we respond is uniquely up to each of us.
It was hard coming back to Crestone from those tranquil waters. To see the intensity of conflict and harshness here at home. Wondering how I could make things better. Realizing, that maybe I can’t.
With appreciation for those who do,
Just keep it
A few days ago I got a call at the Eagle from a woman at a Crestone business seeking the phone number of the ambulance. There was an injured person at their establishment. They weren’t sure what number to call. I said probably 911, but I also gave her the Saguache Sheriff’s Office’s dispatch number—just in case. You call the sheriff for a fire in Crestone, but 911 for a fire in the Baca. This ambulance event was in Crestone. So? I know this stuff, but was suddenly unsure. While they were busy calling me for the answer, the injured person waited. To call for an ambulance in Crestone or the Baca, you dial 911.
This month the Eagle has much content, both pro and con, on whether the Crestone Fire District should be dissolved. For me, I see no compelling reason to dissolve it.
When the vote for the district first passed, it showed community support. When the mil levy failed, twice, it showed that many people in the Baca just can’t afford to pay higher taxes now. As a homeowner myself, I totally get and honor this.
But, the many reasons for a unified public entity still exist.
Several years of hard work, lots of money and good collaborative agreements went into creating the fire district. This district, and all of the effort that went into it, is a valuable community investment and we shouldn’t just throw it away. Let’s leave our options open.
Down the road, we may be able to solve its problems and make it work for all of our benefits—maybe in ways we’ve yet to explore. Let’s give it a little more time. A vote to keep the district is not a vote for taxes. Any future tax funding would have to go to a public vote.
As someone who was an ambulance volunteer for 14 years, I encourage you to vote No on March 5.
Endings along the way
The ending of 2012 was a rough one for me. We are often encouraged at the end of a year to let go of things. That can be hard. It is even harder to have to let go of beings we love.
Over the Winter Solstice our orange tabby kitty of 14 years took ill. What started out as a bad tooth ended as kidney failure on Dec. 23. We were spared having to decide whether to put her down. She passed peacefully on her own. It’s amazing how much you can love a cat that takes up way too much bed space.
The next day brought news of dear Bertha’s passing the night before at home. I had just visited her on the Solstice. We had just laughed together and hugged. How can she be gone? As I struggle with the loss I know that she is not gone in heart, wisdom shared, stories told. Not gone in all the ways 29 years of friendship with this amazing being helped to mold me. Not gone in the perspectives of unconditional love, humility and the joy of pure creativity. For all of us whose lives she touched, we will always carry a part of her with us. As she carries us on with her.
Even now, drinking from a cup shaped by her hand, I hear her light laughter warming my heavy heart. Telling me to be happy, letting me feel a bit of her joy, her wonder. Still close. Shining a light on the path we will all travel someday.
And the cat—she showed up in my dreams. Jumped into her favorite chair, shaking her tail while I petted her and welcomed her back home.
Yes, lots of tears during the ending of the year. But, that is often the way of life; so are new beginnings and the love of good friends with whom we share our lives, and for whom I’m so grateful.
Wishing us all a peaceful and joyful New Year.